It's daily

I am growing up. Finally. Kinda, like a little. I'm a 29 year old single mom. Totally a statistic. And I've realized since I've became single that I am learning new things about myself, life, my son and this fucked up world. I've learned who I can truly count on. Who I cannot trust. I've learned that I actually hate things I thought I liked for the past 7 years and I've learned to love new things. In the past 7 months I have changed, or became the real me. Whatever way you want to look at it. I think I was doing stuff to make others happy. My son's dad, my parents, my siblings, some of my friends. Now I see just ME and my kid. It's just us at the end of the day. I can't care about what anyone thinks about me or my life or the decisions I make. I sometimes want to scream at people to shut the fuck up! We all have our struggles and our demons in the closet. But only we ourselves can fight our own battle's. Like I have recently stopped drinking. I'll have a beer here and there or wine and people actually criticize me about it. "You don't drink anymore? Why?" Uhhhhhh, because I don't need booze to have fun! I'm at a very healthy weight even though people talk shit about my body! Since when did alcohol reduction make you not cool?! Dumb. I left my son's dad. Well actually it was very mutual. But anyway, all I heard was "but you guys have a family, you HAVE to make it work". Don't you think we did try for 7 years?? Sometimes things are not meant to be! It kills me when people feel they need to stay with their baby daddy/momma just cause they have a kid. If you are not happy, get out. Walk away. Why are you suffering? I struggle everyday being single. Even though I live with my amazing Aunt and cousin's, I still struggle. They are not responsible for my son. Being a single parent is hard but it's ok! I'm happier now! Being single totally sucks! I hate dating. Especially in this town! Ayayaya! No normal men! I'm sure they are out there and I'm sure there are some great guys out there. But it's just not my time. Just not now. I hope one day I can be happy again. I KNOW one day I will. Will it take me moving to Dallas within the next 5 years for that to happen? Maybe. It's in my 5 year plan. I have to have a plan. I'm not a child anymore. I'm an adult. I'm a mom. I'm FREE!

I value this friendship

I don't know if these bitches in front of me have any idea how much I love them! "If you suffer in your death...." Is the current subject of conversation! We have the most random shit in our itinerary. I don't think anyone would be able to understand us. I think some would call us "boring". We don't really enjoy getting ready to go out. We don't have weekends planned. We all have kids and family that we spend most of our time with. What we have is a lunch date during the week and a weekend out. Most of the time, "our weekend" is hanging out at VOR or Nighthawk's house, eating, talking, decorating and eating again! When I sometimes tell my family or friends about my time with my girls, they always ask "is that all you guys did?" uhhh, yeah!! What else should we be doing? We are not 21! We enjoy the schedule we have! We have also, 2 years in a row, have had a weekend trip! Last year was Laguna Beach, CA. This year was a "staycation" at The Palazzo. We got massages & ate, ate, ate! Next year we are thinking San Francisco or another "staycation" here in Vegas! Whatever we do, we do it all in our time, our way, our schedule! This friendship is neat! I still have my Cali bitches that I LOVE with all my heart! But these bitches here took me 5 years to find!! They accept my randomness. Like how today I was on my cell phone and I got up and VOR said "what are you doing?" and I said "Looking for my phone"! LOL LOL! I swear that happened! They accept it all! Especially my psychoness when I say that Paul Rudd or Daniel Tosh will one day give it to me good!! I accept VOR's bossiness! I feel like we are in control! If VOR has it written down, typed or just in her head, we are golden! From breakfast to dinner, we are SET! This bitch is one of the smartest people I have EVER met! My official "financial advisor"! And then there is Nighthawk! I see her as a "momma stephanie" sometimes too. She takes care of us! She's real! Tells it like it mother fucken is! "There is someone down the street worse off then you"! That's what I hear when I bitch about my debt, face, vagina or assholes. Not my asshole, but just ASSHOLES!! And then I suck it up! Cause she's right! She deserves absolutely EVERYTHING that she has going on in her life! And she deserves so much more! She is also by far one of the most patient people I know! I don't know if she even realizes it. But she is calm in situations that I freak the fuck out about! I need to learn from her and VOR! I need to have control of my life and be patient for it to wait to get that way!

Ok I have to go now! I need to raid VOR's pantry! Peace out Bitchesssss!

Shut Up whores! We are not OLD!!!!