It's daily

I am growing up. Finally. Kinda, like a little. I'm a 29 year old single mom. Totally a statistic. And I've realized since I've became single that I am learning new things about myself, life, my son and this fucked up world. I've learned who I can truly count on. Who I cannot trust. I've learned that I actually hate things I thought I liked for the past 7 years and I've learned to love new things. In the past 7 months I have changed, or became the real me. Whatever way you want to look at it. I think I was doing stuff to make others happy. My son's dad, my parents, my siblings, some of my friends. Now I see just ME and my kid. It's just us at the end of the day. I can't care about what anyone thinks about me or my life or the decisions I make. I sometimes want to scream at people to shut the fuck up! We all have our struggles and our demons in the closet. But only we ourselves can fight our own battle's. Like I have recently stopped drinking. I'll have a beer here and there or wine and people actually criticize me about it. "You don't drink anymore? Why?" Uhhhhhh, because I don't need booze to have fun! I'm at a very healthy weight even though people talk shit about my body! Since when did alcohol reduction make you not cool?! Dumb. I left my son's dad. Well actually it was very mutual. But anyway, all I heard was "but you guys have a family, you HAVE to make it work". Don't you think we did try for 7 years?? Sometimes things are not meant to be! It kills me when people feel they need to stay with their baby daddy/momma just cause they have a kid. If you are not happy, get out. Walk away. Why are you suffering? I struggle everyday being single. Even though I live with my amazing Aunt and cousin's, I still struggle. They are not responsible for my son. Being a single parent is hard but it's ok! I'm happier now! Being single totally sucks! I hate dating. Especially in this town! Ayayaya! No normal men! I'm sure they are out there and I'm sure there are some great guys out there. But it's just not my time. Just not now. I hope one day I can be happy again. I KNOW one day I will. Will it take me moving to Dallas within the next 5 years for that to happen? Maybe. It's in my 5 year plan. I have to have a plan. I'm not a child anymore. I'm an adult. I'm a mom. I'm FREE!