Today marks 1 year that my Nicholas suffered his first major seizure. I still think of it as if it was just yesterday. I remember me putting him to bed. He was wearing his 'Cars' pajamas. I went to bed after 10pm, closer to 11pm. I laid down and I felt him tap me on my right shoulder. We lived with my Tia at the time so we shared a room. Anyway, so he keeps tapping me and I said 'Go to bed mijo' and he mumbled so I thought he was sleep talking (he does it often) but then it sounded like he was chocking. So I turned the light on on my phone and I look at his face and his little left hand is up in the air twitching, and he's drooling and he is staring into space. Not even the light on my phone bothered him. I kept saying "Nick, Nick!" I jumped up, turned the lights on and called 911. I screamed for my Tia but she didn't hear me. I'm on the phone with operator and my cousin Diana says 'Mom halgo paso' and my Tia and Tio come running down. I instantly tell the 911 operator that my son is having a seizure. She asked if he's had one before and I said no. She asked if he had bumped his head, I said no. At this time, my Tio is trying to keep Nick from biting his tongue. I give Diana the phone and I have her call Daniel. I still have the operator on the phone. I'm screaming at her saying 'Where is the ambulance' she's trying to calm me down. I leave Nick for 20-30 seconds to run to the front yard to check for the ambulance. I SCREAM 'Where the fuck are they?' then I see the lights and Diana screams back to me that they are coming. I run back into the house and my Tia kinda hold me back a bit. The paramedic runs past me and they wouldn't let me in the room. They carry him out and I grab his Cowboys blanket. I insisted he takes it. I jump in the back of the ambulance and I call his dad. He was already on his way to the hospital. Nick was SO out of it. Like he knew who I was but he couldn't talk. He was all zoned out. They told him to raise his arms like Superman, and he couldn't lift his left arm or foot. His face was paralyzed too, on the left. It was weird as fuck! Tia followed me to the hospital. It was chaos. My brain was everywhere. He went through so much testing. MRI, CT Scan, EEG, EKG. They had to rule out a Stroke. On a 5 yr old! It was crazy.
I run that story in my head but I've never sat down to write it. I am grateful that Nick has only had 1 major seizure. He'll get Petit Mal Seizures from time to time. Last like 15-30 seconds. His medication keeps them controlled. He see's a Neuro 4x a year. His regular doc the same. He get's EEG's every 10 months now. He takes 4.5 pills a day. As of now, he has to take them until he's 14-16 yrs old.
The main thing I notice is his change in attitude and behavior. Exactly an hour after he takes his meds, he is out of control. He get's what is called 'Keppra Rage'. He get's so hyper. Violent, moody, emotional. It's heartbreaking sometimes and I find myself frustrated. I try to have patience and sometimes I just gotta walk away. Good thing is, he uses his words more now. So we communicate better. I sometimes just hug him and let him be angry. He gets over it quickly. I love him so much.
I never knew I can love someone so much. I am so proud of him. He is a quick, quick learner. Especially in Spanish class. He comes home singing new songs he learned. I love staring at him when he sleep. He is ridiculously handsome! And the funniest kid I know! His personality is amazing!
I love you Nicholas! Thank you for teaching me how to be a good mom.
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