Oh rosacea!

So if you know me, like know me know me, you'll know that my face is my BIGGEST insecurity ever! Bigger then my saggy boobs, my non perky butt and my crooked bottom teeth. I can use a push up bra for my boobs, and I can squat more for my ass, and eventually I'll get braces for my teeth. But my face! My face is so hard to hide. Not even the best make-up in the world can help my shit out. To hear co-workers tell me "Oh your face looks so much better today" sometimes makes me feel like shit. Like ugh, they totally notice when I'm not flared up! I hear it from everyone, even my amazing Monster that my face doesn't define me. I get that. BUT when you gotta look at my face on the daily like I do, it really takes a toll on my mentals. I've tried EVERYTHING! From coconut oil pills to Reishi pills, lavender, V6 Oil, oatmeal, honey. Todo! There is one thing that calms my face down. Doesn't clear me up, but calms it down. And that's Primrose. I used to take it all the time. Then I stopped for a while. I had introduced my sister-in-law to it and one day she asked why did I stop. I didn't really have an answer. So I started taking it again. I haven't had a huge flare up since then. I'm always rosey and have permanent blush, but I haven't had that painful feeling I get when I get a flare up. Have you guy's ever felt massive pain in your face? Where you call off of work, or ditch a family party cause you just have so much pain it hurts to even put lotion on? I have, for many years. It is the shittiest feeling ever! Dude, like you can't hide when your face is swollen. You just can't. Everyday I think it might be getting better. Everyday I'm like "Ok, it isn't that red, make-up will be on point today". Then I wake up the next day and it hurts to the touch. Everything I read about it says I'm pretty much fucked until I'm about 50 years old. That the flare ups won't stop. And it says to eliminate this and that and live in a bubble. I've given up so much! Yogurt, Vodka, Tequila, Beer, Spinach, Kale. So much! Something else that has semi helped me is CBD oil. People that are very closed minded would not even give CBD oil a chance. Do your research, then bitch to me about your beliefs. But when I get really swollen, I dab some on my worst parts and it calms down a bit. Will it ever really go away? Who knows. Am I learning to live with it? Barely! Do I like when people point out my face? Fuck no! So my advice to you, if you know someone with rosacea or bad acne or just a skin condition that you know nothing about, it is best to not stare or ask. If we want to talk about it, we will. If there is anyone out there reading this and you know exactly what I'm talking about, try the primrose. It won't cure you 100% but you'll see a difference. One day I'll feel super pretty and legit. As of right now, them filters on my apps work just fine!