Parenting. The easiest thing in the world! Ha!!

Ok, so let me start off by saying I love my son with all my heart and soul. I would kill, die, steal, fight, do anything and everything for my child. Had to throw that out there for all you psychos that will probably put in your two cents about this blog. Ok, so growing up I always said I wanted 4 kids. I always saw myself having a huge family and doing lots of family things like trips, parties, the beach. Everything. Then as I got older, reality struck :-) First came along my stepson JR. We got him when he was 8. Boy was that a reality check. It's hard to play the "mom" roll when you have no right. It was tough getting used to a kid. Not a baby and not yet a teenager. He was in that middle phase where he was still kinda spoiled but then was "too cool" for certain things. We all adjusted well for the most part. He's actually a good kid. Now he's a teenager and a smart ass and tends to talk back but what 14 year old doesn't right. The only difference is, I used to get my ass beat the minute I even rolled my eyes at my mom. Let's just say JR never has! Then, the little monster was born. My biological son El Flaco! This little boy has given me trouble since before he was born. At 5 months old I was put on bed rest cause of my high blood pressure and stress. I was swollen like an elephant! It was horrible. I had to see a specialist 2x a week and finally had to have him at 7.5 months cause my body was all in shock and shit. He was born skinny but healthy so he stayed hospitalized for 14 days to get his weight up. Now, for those that actually physically know my child you know he's a special little boy LOL! He is a chion man! Not a day has gone by since the day that he's been born that he doesn't cry. NOT ONE SINGLE DAY! He is "that kid" that throws himself on the floor, that screams at the store at the top of his lungs, that just whines and whines (like he is RIGHT NOW) and no matter what we say or do, it doesn't stop. Ever. Trust me, I've tried IT ALL. I've never whooped the shit out of my kid but he's gotten his spankings, the time outs, the toys taken away, no TV or movies. NOTHING works!!! I find it fucken hilarious when I see all these moms, family and friends that say "my sleepless nights are worth it" or "I can stare at my son/daughter all day", "my child can do no wrong". PLEASE! haha! Every baby/child is different and I know all moms have wanted to rip their fucken hair out and scream "shut the fuck up" to their crying child. To that I say IT'S OK!! It's ok to feel frustrated and ok that your baby is not perfect. It's ok to want to take a walk alone sometimes. It's normal people. Stop faking the funk and making it seem like parenting is the best thing in the world. It's not. Sorry, MY very own personal opinion. Wanna know how I calm down? When I think of my family and friends that have lost their babies or have babies with special needs. I tell myself "wow, they don't have this opportunity to see their kids go to daycare and to make friends at the park". That's how I chill the fuck up. Seriously. You are not a bad person cause your kid gets  on your nerves from time to time. It's normal. Just like our significant others get on our nerves, or our siblings, co-workers, friends, relatives. It's a normal emotion. Now, my son can sometimes be a good kid. That's usually around 9:30 p.m. when he's getting ready for bed and sits still for me to read him a book and he hugs me very tight and tells me "te quiero mucho duerme con los angelitos". It's at that moment when I stop and take a deep breath and I think to myself, "damn I love this kid". But then reality hits again nightly between 12-2 a.m. when he's trying to sneak into our bed! And we say no and he runs screaming and crying back to his room slamming his door! LOL! Sorry but I don't enjoy my "sleepless nights". I need my mother effin' sleep!! I love my kid and I wouldn't change my situation for the world. I wouldn't turn back time and NOT have him. He came to me for a purpose. But he's also made me realize that I truly never, ever, ever, ever want more kids, ever again! haha! I love El Flaco, but he's 4 kids in one ;-)

Taking my own advice

I admit it. I am extremely stressed out. Been almost a month since I lost my job. I have sent my resume to probably 100 offices now. I am signed up to so many job sites that I am starting to get overwhelmed. I probably wouldn't be so stressed out if I was getting unemployement, but I'm not. Whole different subject!! I'm not sure how I'm going to pay my car next month or any of my bills for that matter. I am already behind 4 bills this month and I just ignore my cell phone calls with all the 800 numbers. I'm feeling it man. My skin is showing it, I'm starting to binge it, I have no motivation to do much during the day but to clean! I keep telling myself  "some people are worse off then you Steph". I just say it over and over when I'm about to flip the fuck out. I guess I am still extremely grateful for what I do have. My family, my friends, my health, my house. Mr. Mustang is trying to do everything to keep up with our house bills and I am forever grateful for him. I know something will come along soon. I've been more stressed out before. It's weird. Like I was more stressed at my last job then I am right now at having NO JOB! I guess I should just take this time off and chill and relax my brain. Cause I'll need to be 110% when I do get my new job. I'll be ok. My family and I will be ok! I can feel it. I see it. It's all going to be ok.

Cellulite

Yes. That's the topic. SAS! So, I always bitch about the cellulite on my thighs. It's not bad or too drastic but it's there. I think I got it cause when I was between 13-21 I thought I would forever be skinny and will never have cellulite, EVER! Oh but then reality struck bitches! I got older, lazier, chubbier, had a kid and HELLO CELLULITE! I laugh when I see/read all these younger tweens talk or post about all the junk food they eat and how they are so skinny and sexy LOL! Good Luck to you! Get back to me in 10 years and tell me how you feel about your sexy legs then. I blame only MYSELF and the crap I would eat and still do. Oh did I mention I have cellulite on my stomach too? Not as bad as I think I do but I just have that shit stuck in my head that it's horrible. But considering I sported a bikini this whole summer without bitching, I know it's not too bad. Thank You Beer! So anyway, my point to all this is last night I met up with my BIFFY! He's been my BIFF for over 12 years. We did the math yesterday. He's in town for work so we decided to have a drink at Coyote Ugly. Chicks dancing on bars and the little stage they had. Sexy girls dude. But guess what! 2 of them had cellulite on their stomachs along with a little 4 pack and 1 of them had cellulite on her thighs! And like I said, they were sexy girls. Cellulite never fully goes away! It kinda goes away with green tea and some toning but it will always be there! I've lost a lot of cellulite from working out and eating better but no matter how many sit ups I do or lunges, cardio, leg weights, it's there. Faintly, but it's there. So my advice to all you little hootchie mamas that think you will forever be skinny and have the perfect body is EAT RIGHT AND EXERCISE!!! Your metabolism WILL slow down and good luck to you after you have kids! I know a handful, just a handful of girls that had babies and look freaking amazing instantly! Lucky bitches! LOL! But just remember, we are not all that lucky!

Being happy isn't so bad is it!

We all have our bumps in the road. Those bumps that we think will just ruin us forever. The point of no return. You're doomed. Just give up now. But really, is it really THAT bad? What if you're just happy with what you do have! A roof over your head, a child you can call your own, a significant other that you can cry to, parents that will always be there for you, siblings that you can call at all hours of the night, best friends, cousins, beer and tequila! If you even have one of those things then just make the best out of it. It's no secret that this year has probably been one of the craziest years of my life. From family deaths, illnesses, a falling out with a sibling, a temporary breakup, a loss of 2 jobs and now fighting to get my unemployment. It's been a crazy, crazy year. I felt so lost and alone. I lost a bunch of weight and I lost who I was. I didn't like who I was. All because I was focusing on everything negative that was happening in my life. And still is! But now I am trying to see a different side of things. I needed to be happy that I did have those friends and family in the time of my darkest days. And I did have that support at all hours of the night. I needed to appreciate that I have a healthy, naughty little boy that I can call my own cause I know way too many women that do not have this privilege. I needed to be grateful for the man that I call my boyfriend even though we were at each others throats. He's the man that can make me laugh when no on else can. He's the one that can help me get through my struggles and when I need a time out from being a mom. No matter what we have been through, he has stepped up like I've never seen him step up before. I needed to be grateful that yes I lost my job but I am also being a full time mom. Not a working mom that only saw my son 3-4 hours a day. I needed to be grateful especially for my VOR, Night Hawk, Giggles and Amazing! They did a good job! ;-) I went around my home today with Sage. Now, this is a sensitive subject for many since my beliefs have changed, but anyway, I went around saging my home and asking the universe for positive energy. I didn't "pray to god". I asked for strength within ME. NO ONE can change me but ME. I asked for the universe to just let me be happy and to show me that not everything is bad! I can do this and I will continue to do this. I'm a good person and I deserve good things and I WILL get those things. I will be OK and I will have a job soon. I am grateful for everyone who I have met in my life and made an impact on who I am today! No matter what struggles you are currently facing, just remember to be happy with what you have NOW! In front of you, at your reach! Enjoy it! We are not guaranteed tomorrow!