The power of positive thinking!

"Sour Grape". That's was my nickname for the past few years. One sour ass grape. Always so negative about EVERYTHING! My weight, face, job. Everything. I was so angry and bitched about it all. I thought the world was out to get me. Like I deserved all the bad shit happening in my life. And then I realized that it wasn't me. It was who I was around that was making me feel this way.i don't mean to talk shit...but I kinda do. For years I blamed myself for everything and I sat there trying to figure out how I can make my family work. I cooked, cleaned, washed. Catered to everyone in the house. And still, no matter what I did it wasn't enough. I was "too young" to understand it all. I was "inexperienced". Just a kid you know. It was like a learning process.......so I thought.

I'm so fucken happy bro! Happiest I have been in a long time. My mind is full of POSITIVE thoughts! I manifest good things and good things happen! It works! I promise! I don't say "I want to get out of debt". I say "I'm going to get out of debt"! I know that even more amazing things are ahead for me. I can see it, feel it, smell it!! I make plans ahead of time and stick to them! No more excuses! I won't ever let another man have as much control of me anymore. Ever. I am still on protest mode when it comes to cooking too. Fuck that shit! One day!

So I'm not a sour grape. Never really was. It wasn't me. It was you. I'm thankful for the learning process. I'm much more of a women then I ever was.

Hello 2013!!!

Dude! What's up?!! I hope you are all having an awesome New Year!! I can say that mine has been a bit crazy!! I don't even know where to start! I guess things changed very late December. I was trying desperately to leave something behind! I vowed to let it go and never look back! That was my NY resolution. I was telling myself that I was gonna be ME in 2013 and that I was gonna get a good life going for Nick and I. Things got crazy for a second there. So much gnarly energy from like everywhere. I can't even explain it. Signs. Instincts. Manifestation. It was something. Whatever it was it helped me stay positive that 2013 is gonna be good.

I'm in a good place right now. I have a good job where I meet different people everyday. My work buddies are awesome. I cherish every second with my kid. We had a set back with his health. He was diagnosed with Benign Rolandic Epilepsy. He experienced a shitty seizure. It was the scariest shit that I have EVER seen. I felt helpless. It sucks. I'm reading a lot about it. He'll be ok and grow out of it. I have AMAZING family and friends. I saw how so many people cares for us and I am very grateful for that! Oh and my rosacea is better! I'm still Rosie in the cheeks but I'm not swollen. And I'm more confident with makeup and accessories. Even with clothes! I'm trying to get more colors but I'm such a black/grey girl!! I'm just all in all happy right now. I really am!

I hope you're happy too!

Good night!