A year ago today. It went by SO FAST!
A year ago today I made one of the hardest decisions I've ever had to make. To become a single mom and leave the father of my child. I was already a statistic. What's one more situation to put me in a category. Single mom with a baby daddy.
The first 2 weeks were tough. I had to figure out a place to stay. I went back and forth with my brain. Should I stay or should I go?! Can I make it work? Am I forcing it? What will our families think? My poor kid is gonna grow up confused! These thoughts and so many more ran through my head. It sucked assssss. I finally moved out. Then that was tough. If it wasn't for my amazing friends and family, who knows where I would be.
I have grown so much in this year. I love myself more. I am more confident. I hate to even think about being insecure.
Mustang Man and I are cool. We ain't best friends but we cool. We co-parent and that's the most important thing. We help each other out. Many don't understand the friendship we have. It's hard to explain on why I won't ask for more. I can thank him for helping me be the woman I am today. Because if it wasn't for him, I wouldn't know what it was like to feel the way I feel right now. Strong.
Some girls think that because they have a kid with a dude they have to stay forever. It's the rules right? I just wanna let you know that no one can force you to stay if you are unhappy. Be happy!!! Being alone is not that bad!! I very much enjoy my alone time. And I very much enjoy my time with new peeps that are in my life. It's a good balance. Don't think that it's the end of the world! Nice guys do exist! I promise!!!
I don't regret my 7 years. Could I have ended it sooner? Yes. But I least I can say I tried. We tried. And one day both of our boys will know how much we tried. And I think they will be thankful that we didn't stay out of putty for them. They are not growing up in a hostile environment with screaming and name calling. They will be ok and that's what's important.
It's only been a year and I feel fabulous! Can't wait for next year :-)
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