Pitty Party Bitches!

Yeah, this isn't gonna be a funny one. More like a "I need to bitch about everything and everyone and life" kinda blog. So I don't mind if you stop reading now. So, I'm a very nervous person. People that really know me always tell me to calm the fuck down or I'm gonna make myself sick. By that they mean, I've ended up in the hospital 2x due to panic attacks. NOW, I feel confident enough to control them. Doc's have tried to put me on anti-depressants and shit but I refuse. I don't want to feel like a zombie and not myself. So I try to handle all the crazy shit on my own. This past year has been a tough one. My relationship has been tough, my family is so full of drama, my friends and I are all growing up and growing apart, people are dying, people are getting sick, friends of friends are dying. I mean, this year has been insane! My grandpa only has a few months to live, my godfather only a few days to live, I'm about to lose my fucken job cause I can't concentrate and am behind on every single assignment they've given me for the past month. I'm a hard worker. I have always had very successful jobs. I get promoted quickly and get paid well. But this year, I can't. I can't function or think straight. I come home angry. I bitch at the kids and dogs quickly. I'll refuse to cook dinner. I lost myself somewhere. I miss the old me. I was never so moody or angry or bitchy or such a damn cunt! I wonder when I will be back to ME again cause I sure miss the hell out of ME!

I refuse to believe!

Ok, ok, so here goes what so many people debate about, 2012! I grew up very catholic. Baptized, holy communion, confirmation, todo! BUT now that I am a "big girl" and I can think for myself, my views on religion have shifted quiet dramatically. I still pray but not to a certain "god", more to myself. I still have my son pray and we pray together for our sick grandpa, my sick Nino, for mommy to not go psycho. It's more like we are praying to manifest good thoughts, not praying for an Angel to come down and have our prayers come true. I get shit from a lot of people about it, but damn that Ancient Aliens show LOL! Ok, so anyway, I watched 2012 last night and the thing they show a lot is people praying, asking "god" for help, praying for the world to not end. To me, it's very hypocritical. People bash religion left and right and then pray when shit hits the fan. Shit's gonna hit the fan. No matter how much we pray. In 2012 they show the earthquakes, the water, the catastrophe that's going to happen in minutes!! I don't think it will be EXACTLY like that, or even on 12/21/2012, but it's gonna happen. Faults break, volcano's erupt. The earth needs to flush out the bad and start over again. I'm prepared to accept that "something" will happen soon, but not like the movie portrays it. Cause, we don't really know. What I think 2012 and that other movie with Jake Gynehall, (too lazy to google his name or the movie) is doing, is freaking people out. Dude, I can see cities declaring Marshall Law next year in December. Everyone is gonna go fucken nuts! Look, there isn't shit we can do. There isn't a mountain or building we can climb on and hide. Whatever is gonna happen, we have to accept. I see it as a new beginning. Some will survive, some won't. I don't think it's going to be the one's that are "chosen" by a "god", I think it's gonna be all luck...

Jimmy Blogging on Football!

My BF has a buddy named Jimmy! Cool Cat! Love him and his wife dearly! He is a massive football fan! Don't even talk to him, call him,  or text him when football is on! You will be ignored :-) Well, Jimmy will now be writing on footballnation.com He is probably the biggest Bears fan I know! So read his stuff! He will not disappoint! http://forums.footballnation.com/member.php/200-JimmyChiOso

The Secret Pooper

I always thought boys were gross. Little 2-5 year old boys! Dirty little boys that pick their noses, butts, ears! My son, who is 3 is one of those gross little boys! When he runs up to me with his mouth open saying "I ate it momma", I sometimes don't even want to know what he ate! Usually it's a booger. It's so disgusting! But the funny thing about him is his pooping style. He is a Secret Pooper. Even when he was in diapers, he would go hide, and I knew he was pooping. Now, fully potty trained, he'll sometimes even lock the bathroom door! Which is gross when you are asking him to get up and unlock it! He gets so mad if he knows you are even standing outside the door! He screams for me to "go away" and then screams "all done" when he is done! Now, the reason I think it's weird is cause growing up, my sister and I would always sit in the restroom counter when my mom was pooping! Is that weird? And is it weird that when I visit her and my dad that I'll STILL go in her bathroom to talk to her while she is pooping LOL! But she has one of those big restrooms that the toilet it separate from the sink and tub. So technically she has the door closed but I'm like 2 feet away! haha! I don't think it's weird at all actually! I think it's weird that my BF won't let me in the restroom when he's in there! I'm like, "it's just freaking poop"! That's why we have air fresheners! DUH! So I guess my kid got his pooping manners from his dad, cause he sure as hell didn't get them from me!

Curse of the Tapatio Sauce

So, I'm sitting here in my office "working" as I stare at an almost empty bottle of Tapatio Hot Sauce. And I've realized that I cannot enjoy popcorn, lays, quesadillas, chorizo, or frijoles without Tapatio!! It's probably one of the greatest inventions ever! Especially on popcorn! If you add lime, it's even more magical! I got my 3 year old to eat it that way too. Smart kid! He knows better! ;-) So, at home, we have a debate on what's better. Louisiana Hot Sauce or Tapatio. Seriously, is there even a comparison?? Louisiana hot sauce tastes so disgusting to me! "One drop does it all" my flat ass!! (not a spelling error) It's just nasty! Doesn't even taste hot! But Tapatio, Tapatio does the trick! It makes your tongue tingle. I love it! What's your hot sauce choice?

What do I want to be when I grow up?

Is that a question I should be asking myself at 27...almost 28? Already succeeded in becoming a mom...but I don't have a career. I guess it's typical of a Mexican woman that grew up in East L.A. Pop a kid out first, you can worry about a career later! Dammit! I fell right into that trap! I want to be many things, but doesn't mean I can actually do them! Some days I really wanna be a chef. But then I get in my moods where I hate fucken cooking and want to make everyone a damn sandwich. But then I feel bad for the kids and end up cooking. Another damn Mexican thing my mom handed down to me. "A woman belongs in the kitchen". No matter how much my mom worked, she always came home to cook us a hot dinner! I now do the exact same thing!! THEN, I have days where I want to be an Interpreter. I translate so much at work and every job I've had, that I ask myself, "why not get paid to do this". Well, what stops me there is going back to school. I'm still paying off my other damn loans! THEN, I have days where I want to be a Journalist. I just want to write! I like celebrity gossip. But I don't want to be your typical celebrity gossip blogger. I don't need to add pictures or links. I just want to write what I think of certain peeps. Like, how I hate Jersey Shore! :-). THEN, I want to be a Medical Assistant. Another thing that requires school and loans. So I guess I am back to my original question: What do I want to be when I grow up?

My Tattoos

What's the meaning behind your tattoos? That's always the very first question I get asked when people see my tattoos! I used to have an answer to this question, but after the 4th "meaningful tattoo" that I got, I would just say/still do, "JUST BECAUSE"! My very first tattoo that I got was immediatley after my 18th birthday. I still lived at home and I always teased my folks that I would get one and they never believed me. So screw it, I said, "if I don't go now, I'll never go". I called up my cousin Carol, and we drove around Whittier Blvd., I beleive. We found this shop, I told the dude I wanted a Virgo symbol, typical tramp stamp estylo! I waited about 2 weeks until it was completley healed before I showed my mom. She said, "ay penedja, eso es de henna" and I said, "no mom, te lo juro, es un tatuaje", and she took a closer looked and slapped the shit out of my back! As she walked away she said,"Pendeja, aver como te va con tu papa". I giggled :-) I did! I knew I was in the clear with her! Now, just to keep it on the DL around my dad! About 2 months later, I called up Carol again and said, "I want another tattoo, let's go back to that fool"! So we went, and this time I wanted Julius the Monkey by Paul Frank! Ever since I was a kid, I've been called "Changa" cause I'm always hyper and looney! I grew to loving monkeys, still do! So, why not get a monkey tattoo! It symbolizes me! SO I did, on my right side of my tummy! I can't even say I remember that pain for this tat, or the one before that! Maybe that's what keeps me going back to tattoos! I forget the pain! ANYWAY, this particular tattoo has gotten me in a trouble. I tried to hide it so much that his lips got all deformed and shit. So when I moved to Vegas, I had to get him re-done...then I got knocked up and was forced to have a c-section, and well, you can guess what happened to my monkey!
My other meaningful tats are all the birth flowers for my mom, dad, brother, sister and myself! If your born in February, April, November, December or September, Congratulations, your tattooed on my back! Then I got my kids birthdate in Roman Letters on my back. Yes I know I'm not Roman assholes, I just wanted something different! Then I got Bendita Tu Luz over his bday cause I am obsessed with that song! Other then that, my other tattoos don't mean a thing. Once you get one, you get addicted. I still have a level of respect for my folks and I won't get anything on my arms. I am getting close though. Just started getting ink on my ankles! Gotta cut the cord sometime right :-) My dad still hate's them by the way and he'll never accept them, but I love them, I just do!
I bid you a good day!