How to handle a tantrum now and days!

I have no fucken idea! I've been trying to figure this out now for almost 3 years! El Flaco is almost 4 years old. That whole "terrible 2's" shit started when he was 1! I ain't even lying! He is most definitely his worst behaved with me. He does better with his dad. He's scared of his dad a bit more. He says it's "the look". I'm the yeller. I feel like yelling will scare him and he'll calm his ass down. Nah. Never has worked, probably never will. Times have changed you know. Back when I was growing up, I got my ass beat! With cintos, chanclas and anything my mom could grab that she could throw at us without the object breaking. God forbid her precious porcelain dolls would break! Sometimes my mom or dad would make us chose our cinto that we were gonna get whooped with! LOL! We used to run man. It's kinda funny now that I think about it. I'm not traumatized by it. I wasn't brutally beaten. Most of the time it was a smack to the face for talking back or rolling my eyes. Back then it was normal. My folks have a story where my dad whooped us with a belt at the mall cause we wouldn't sit down. And this chismosa lady butted in and told my dad she was calling the cops on him. My dad then lifted up his cinto and told her "you want some too?" and she took off haha! The cops were never called. Back then people probably applauded my dad for calming down his three bratty kids. Now and days they want you to "sit and talk calmly to your chilld". Ok you tell me how to calm a three year old that's throwing himself on the floor looking like he's break dancing and shit? "Flaco, son, mijo, amorcito, cariño". Honey please! That's don't work for MY KID! It's more like, "hijo de tu chingada madre callate la boca"! And if that don't work it's usually a smack on his leg or I say "let's go, I'm done". and I walk out. And guess what, he wins! He wins cause he threw a tantrum and I left. NOW, 10-15 years ago, I could have slapped the child, or spanked him, or put him in the corner of the store on time-out. But no that can't happen anymore. It isn't allowed. Can you imagine a three year old at Target in a corner screaming bloody murder cause he's on time-out?! Holy shit the security will come flying. Associates will come running. It'll be insane! And they'll have to make sure he's ok and not in harms way of a crazy parent. I mean seriously. How the fuck did society and government and chismosos get involved in how we raise our children. I'm not saying I wish I could beat my kid. No. Never. He's a lucky kid. I feel sooooo horrible when I hear stories of kids that die at the hand of an abusive parent. But still, I think people are involved too much. If there is a reason you should be concerned for a child's safety then yes, do something about it. But seriously if a parent is just trying to discipline their child in a more calm, but slightly more aggressive way then what you're used to, then just back away and realize that we aren't all raised the same. My only way to handle a tantrum is to walk away. It seems to work a tiny bit more here at home. I'm still working on the out in public tantrums. Do I just turn my back to him while he sits in the shopping cart? Do I actually try to put him in the corner of the store? One thing about Flaco is he doesn't get embarrassed. I think he got that from me LOL! I can care less what people think of me in public and he's the same way! I never thought I wouldn't have control over my kid and I am the first to admit that I don't. I was always that mom that said "my kid will never throw a tantrum". Ha! jokes on me bitches! *deep breaths*